....the road to getting better





i've been down this road several times. each passing is different. the path to getting better is never a one way street.

i am young...i am free...i am driven...i am blessed...loves to eat...loves to talk...as sunny as April.. as rainy as June can be...an obsessive compulsive but a clutter at the same time...i am a total contradiction of everything
   

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Friday, November 04, 2005
new blog


Posted at 4.11.05 by apols
Toxic Me  

Wednesday, November 02, 2005
another one of those things

i got this from jing....

10 years ago I was...
the prom queen (harhar!)
4 sizes smaller
utterly excited to get in to UST
eternally idealistic 
a nerd (according to my friends)

5 years ago I was...
torn between getting married and pursuing a medical degree
2 sizes smaller a nerd (finally accepted the fact by that time)
a pessimistic
 
Yesterday...
i had my first day duty at Jose Reyes and vowed never to come back.
i realized i wanted to be at east ave after all.

5 snacks I like...
Cafe Breton's crepe, Kowloon's siopao, potato chips, C2 apple,  Granny goose tortillos barbeque flavor

5 things I would do w/ $100M...
Send all my nieces and nephews to school
Buy many houses (and i mean MANY)
Build a hospital
Build schools
Set up a business for my family
 
5 places I would run away to...
Venice...no other place yet in mind
 
5 favorite TV shows/entertainment...
Sex and the City rewinds, Friends, Ophrah, Encantadia!, My 11 year old sister in law

5 bad habits...
Whining 3x
Procrastination x 2

5 biggest joys...
my mommy
babsie
chynna
my work
my friends

5 favorite toys...
my car
my cellphone
my PDA
my steth
my sis (always have been)
 
5 fictional characters I would date...
fictional lang? this is so sinful!!!


Posted at 2.11.05 by apols
Toxic Me  

Monday, September 05, 2005
after the boards

it's been a week since the board exams ended. most of us were just too relieved to finally make it through the two week exam. in the end, it's like begging for mercy to spare you no more suffering. the last few minutes before each examination, i slammed my book and said: BAHALA NA!. but i always end up murmuring at least 10 times in each exam: through the merits of thy cruel martyrdom, saint philomena hear and help me. there was even a point in pathology exam that i just want to tear my test paper and walk out. i've cried more than once after each examination day, mostly out of fear of failing and frustration.

and now we're done. results were out. i would say they were awfully good.

so, this is how a bum feels like. i feel utterly useless but at the same time, i still like the feeling of having no responsibility whatsoever. i haven't had a vacation for two years now and i want to enjoy this precious moment of watching tv.

for now, i like slacking a lot.

Posted at 5.9.05 by apols
Toxic Me  

Saturday, July 23, 2005
out of my mind

you're burned out when:

1. ...the paragraph you're reading seems never ending
2. ...you want to tear your books apart and they cost around P5000 each
3. ...you drink 5 cups of coffee and still fall asleep (unless you're already addicted before)
4. ...you sleep at the library 4 hours out of 8 hour stay
5. ...going home seems to be the only sane thing to do

you don't want to go out because:

1. ...they all tell you gained weight
2. ...they ask if you already passed the exams

you don't want to go to the library because:

1. ...all the frat men from med school seem to be on their 3rd reading already
2. ...you have to fight for your seat against the law barristers
3. ...you haven't mastered the art of intimidation yet
4. ...you truly gained weight so none of your pants fit

you want to go home because:

1. ...you're broke
2. ...you want real homecooked food
3. ...you're coughing and sneezing and running a fever
4. ...you're cable tv-starved
5. ...you want to test those pirated dvd's you recently bought
6. ...it's the only sane thing to do

and so i'm home.....finally.



Posted at 23.7.05 by apols
Toxic Me  

Sunday, May 15, 2005
on liking somebody again

yes, i'll definitely go out on a dinner with you.

you cancelled. and was brutally honest with your reasons.

you said sorry and we're friends again.

told me you liked me, but i can't tell i like you back.

complicated.

you did things for me, reasons unknown.

you invited me again to dinner, and i said yes.

i was forced to cancel... it was getting too late and you're still at work.

i get it....

it's really not meant to be...

one reason too many.

Posted at 15.5.05 by apols
Comments (2)  

Saturday, April 30, 2005
greetings

so many birthday celebrators!!!!

penny girl... miss you!!! good luck in your internship at JRMMC
pam... you're one of the best persons i've met at eamc. thank you for the friendship
yeye... my kuya and twin brother... a year has passed since our last birthday, a lot has happened...
you're still the best brother i could ever have.
dr clarence
... ei you! thanks for all the support. who knows, i might be your amuyong next year
cheese...  how i wish we could get back to our letter writing days....
dr joy b.... i am so lucky that i get to rotate with you during my pedia days...
jokee... i am so happy for you. i wish you all the happiness this world can give and even more.
dabu... 'preng, di ko akalain, nakakamiss din pala ang kasungitan mo...
babeth... the best roommate!!! love you sistah!!!!
dr james... i still wish i found you first! hehehe!
loi... baloi!!!! this is it! the one we've waited for tha last 9 years since we've met. good luck to you!!!
neki boy... salamat ha...sa lahat ng tulong mo at pagpapasensya mo sa katarayan ko.
noel... nakakamiss ka rin pala...hahahaha!!!!!



Posted at 30.4.05 by apols
Toxic Me  

Sunday, April 03, 2005
my bestfriend

i've known her since she was 4 feet and 5 inches tall (and in fairness, she never grew that much). she tried to be there every single birthday i had (and pressuring me to cook for her too). i learned to commute from pacita to canossa with her. i knew bon jovi's songs because of her. i had my first boyfriend because of her too (not that i am thankful of that). she covered for me every time i sneak out. she was there when my father died. she listened and cried with me when i was really very low. cooked for me, when i go home from duty. i don't know if i am her bestfriend, but she is mine. and i love her... happy birthday jet!!!!

Posted at 3.4.05 by apols
Toxic Me  

Saturday, March 26, 2005
it will all make perfect sense someday...

...why at 26 i am single, when in fact i had a boyfriend 10 years back and it lasted for 7 years

...why i'm training for the last two years and still not working

...why i am allergic to gin but not to beer

...why i like strawberry jelly and peanut butter combined

...why i like almost all sharon cuneta's flicks but not her songs

...why i longed for romance and be swept off my feet

...why i wanted to believe that there is THE ONE just around the corner, only i haven't made the TURN yet

...why i'm afraid of commitment

...why i keep on talking to my ex when in fact every single bloody talk we fight

...why i tolerate the power tripping of some of my residents

...why i never entered show business

...why all the whys in my life i should ask
 

Posted at 26.3.05 by apols
Toxic Me  

60 questions

something i got from Abbie Real's blog... :p

1) Brand and model of your handy phone?
Nokia 6610 and Nokia 8210. One is for Globe and the other one is for Sun/Smart.

2) What will you do if you see your boyfriend hugging another girl?

Hmmm... nothing i guess..cry, perhaps...

3) Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
What was that again?

4) Do you have your own room?
Yes, but i don't go home, so it really doesn't matter.

5) Favorite pet?
Haven't got one since the lovebirds died.

6) One thing you can't live without?
My cellphones, laptop, and pda.

7) Where do you live?
Mostly at East Ave.

8) What would you do if someone tells you he/she likes you?
Get away from it?

9) How are you feeling now?
Very well rested after a marathon of duties.

10) Where do you hangout?

I am usually at my apartment if not at the hospital. I rarely get to "hangout" anymore.

11) What are you good at?

Talking nonstop?

12) What is it about a person you can't stand?

Pretentious. And mostly power tripping people.

13) What do you want?
Now, that's a question. I want world peace...really. 

14) A word that describes you?
Madaldal

15) What is your dream?
Can I say too many to mention? :p Nah, I just want to be good at what I am doing.

16) Day or night?
Night

17) Sunset or sunrise?
Sunrise. New beginnings.

18) Like a romantic boyfriend?

Oh, definitely.

19) What is it about the opposite gender that attracts you?
Character.

20) Are you an independent person?
I think I am beginning to get used to it.

21) Do you like school?
Too much I think. ;p

22) Are you stubborn?
Uh-huh

23) Do you believe in God?
Yes, I do.

24) Your favorite sport?
Badminton, if only I have time. 

25) Do you believe in fate?
I wanted to.

26) Do you get pissed off easily?
I do.

27) Do you like your parents?

Love them dearly

28) Are you a materialistic person?
I could be.

29) Do you believe in love?
I do.

30) Will you get a tattoo?
Contemplating on it.

31) Smoke?

Social smoker? Unfair that I get to have other people's smoke.

32) Clubbing?

Definitely not.

33) Will you forgive your boyfriend if he cheats on you?
Forgive? Yes.

34) Will you expect your boyfriend to forgive you?

I don't cheat so he won't.

35) Were you on a trip recently?
Nope.

36) Favorite country?

This country.

37) Are you impatient?
Patience is a virtue I am trying to get my hands on.

39) Do you organize parties often?
No. I'm more of the participant.

40) Do you have good friends?
I am blessed with great friends.

41) Do you think you are good looking?
Might be. I was told that I am conceited.

42) Do you care about looks?
Vain too!

43) Do you think that you're a good girlfriend?
After 3 failed relationships, I am seriously doubtful.

45) Do you quarrel with people easily?
Depends. But with careless mothers and caregivers, I do.

46) Are you forgiving?
Yes.

47) Do you get hurt easily?
Yes. Too easily.

48) Do you prefer girl with long or short hair?

Mine is long. Actually, whatever looks great.

49) Do you prefer guys wit long or short hair?
I want the clean cut look.

50) Is your hair colored?
No.

51) Are you a romantic partner?
I already forgot if I was.

52) Do you wear a watch?
Yes, It's one of those must haves in my work.

53) What color of clothes do you like?
I like black, blue, and red. When I began doing my laundry, I noticed that  almost all my clothes are of those colors. Even the scrub suits!

54) Will you chose love or money?
Love. BUT if I can't have love, I'll definitely take the money. Take it! Take it!

55) Do you prefer to sleep or to eat?
Sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzz............

56) White or black?
Black

57) Pink or red?
Red

60.) Final message to the one you love?
I'm quite sure he doesn't browse the net. :p


Posted at 26.3.05 by apols
Toxic Me  

Thursday, March 24, 2005
countdown begins

i'm having a countdown.

37 days from now and i'm outta here.

i can't wait.

on may 1, i'd take 2 tablets of valium and sleep throughout the day.

Posted at 24.3.05 by apols
Toxic Me  

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